


Emerald Oceans

by CherryMilkshake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, aaaand now it's an AU, sad break-up fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 08:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryMilkshake/pseuds/CherryMilkshake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The writing's been on the wall for awhile, and well, you're not stupid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You have to give him credit, he didn’t pussy out and do it over Pesterchum. He’s messaged you back for the first time in days, babbling nervously about needing to talk and how hard it is to talk through your respective gas masks, cool as they are. And well, you’re not stupid.

You pull off the mask as you go through the gate, quickly swapping it for your shades. Though he knows your face without them—intimately—you need something to hide behind. The familiar weight doesn’t necessarily calm your nerves, but it does ease them somewhat.

He shifts uncomfortably from side to side. He’s wearing his blazer, covering the tattoo you gave him. It makes your chest tighten.

“Strider,” he starts, with the air of a man asked to perform a monologue that he’d only read once and now all eyes were on him and the words were running out of his head like water. “Uh, you and I, we’ve had a rip-snorting good time, the two of us, eh? But, uh, I think we’d be better off going back to, y’know, best bros, instead of, erm,  _boyfriends._ ”

God, you can see the way his nose scrunches up at the word, like it always has. It never didn’t make your heart stutter and, whoops, there is goes again, little pangs of hurt, just enough to chill your spine.

“Would that, er, be alright with you?” He can’t look at you, as if he’s afraid of your reaction, as if this revelation would be a surprise to you. But you aren’t stupid.

_No._ You contemplate the answer, rolling it around your head, examining all its angles. But you can’t come up with any scenario that would end in him just accepting that answer and going back to the brief few months of happiness you’d had before it started to fall apart. Instead, you answer, “Yeah, sure. It’s cool with me, whatever you want, Jake. I’m not the kind of villain you’d tie you to the metaphorical train tracks for breaking up with me, man.” Did your voice shudder on “breaking up”? Shit, it probably did. Shit. Shit.

“Oh, uh, capital then.” Now he’s looking at you, peering at you with those gorgeous green eyes, even more gorgeous in reality than you’d imagined them so many times before. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Are you shaking? You can’t tell anymore. Your heartbeat is loud in your ears, pushing against your throat.

“Yeah. I just need some time to myself.” You get up and start walking back toward the gate to LOTAK.

“Oh, right, of course. Haha… I’ll see you later?”

Your voice feels strangled. You force it to stay level. “Sure.” You need to stop talking, or you’re going to fall apart. You raise a hand in goodbye, unable to look at him any longer.

The gas mask is pulled back into place as you jump through the gate, returning to the familiar green haze and the towering emerald skyscrapers. …Fuck green.

Suddenly too tired to even jog, you trudge through the empty city, ignoring the flashes of lightning overhead and the rumbles of thunder in your bones.

At the center of the city lies your old apartment, eternally out of place with its white walls and metal stilts. You climb the ladder you built into the side—the only modification you’ve made—and enter.

It’s much the same at you left it, almost eerily so. It’s too quiet though, lacking the gentle hum of machinery that always haunted the background of your life. You sigh and flop onto the bed, reaching automatically for Cal.

Only for your hands to meet empty air.

…Right.

Somehow, this is what smashes the floodgates, and suddenly you’re eight years old again, watching ancient interviews with the man you consider your brother, crying as you long for him to turn to the camera and talk to you, to acknowledge you, to give you a goddamn pat on the head, even though you know he’s been dead longer than you’ve been alive.

You fold yourself inward, squeezing your thighs as if, if you just squeezed hard enough, tightly enough, then your oldest friend would somehow return to you, smiling his enigmatic grin, and wrapping his soft, plush arms around you like no one had ever been there to do.

_But Jake had been warmer, firmer, wrapped in that heavy musk that you could only describe as ‘Jake’ and when he’d put his arms around you, it had almost scared you how much it felt so good that it_ hurt.

You squeeze yourself tighter still, tears ticking softly against the plastic shell of the mask and the thick glass of the goggles.

This dead city is your new ocean.

You’ve never felt so alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus not-quite-so-depressing ending

TT: Dirk.  
TT: Dirk.  
TT: Oh for the love of God.  
TT: Dirk!  
TT: Answer me, will you? I know you’re there. I’m on your damn face.  
TT: I know you know that Roxy’s been pestering you for like an hour, so just answer her already, will you?  
TT: Enough with the one man pity party.  
TT: ...  
TT: Look, I know it hurts, okay? For fuck’s sake, I’m you, I get it.  
TT: Now, answer your friend before she comes looking for you.

You glance at the pink text filling your screen, opened by AR.

TG: dirk plz answer ok?  
TG: jkae told me what happened  
TG: *jake  
TG: i'm sorry i couldve been a better friend and warned you it was comin  
TG: i was just scared to brign it up  
TG: you know?  
TG: i mean youre my friend and i love you to pieces and i didnt wanna hurt you...  
TG: but maybe i did neway i dunno...  
TG: ...  
TG: dirk?  
TG: diiirk  
TG: plz ur killign me :’(

The ocean fades from your mind, and you answer her.

TT: Meet me on LOPAN somewhere? I guess I could use some company right now.  
TG: of coures!  
TG: *course  
TG: juts lemme get janey out of here and we can have a nice feeligns jam and stuff  
TG: i got leftover pie and errything  
TG: it’s crocker-made and is delish ;3  
TT: That sounds perfect.  
TT: Thanks, Roxy.


End file.
